Back in 2019, I followed somebody on Twitter and they tried to entice me with a private message sex reference. Happens all the time – surely it’s not somebody probing to groom me – must be my masculine physique. Yeah, in my dreams. 🙂 But I answered this one, and so then they tried to groom me with a tale of woe.
I’ll use a gender-neutral pronoun here because this was probably a group trying to groom me.
I’m usually easy-going about this stuff. After all, I collect phishing samples and I’ve seen lots of scams. But this one got to me because the poster claimed they were an abused wife and then went silent. I spent half that night on the phone trying to persuade what I thought was their local police department to check on their welfare. I’ll bet I burned at least four hours of labor over 24 clock hours before I finally ended it.
This scam was for money, but it’s the exact same technique human traffickers and terrorists use to groom victims. Find something the potential victim cares about and exploit it.
What tipped me off? It felt phishy from the beginning. Or maybe it really was a desperate, abused young wife. So I stayed with it. But then they asked me for money. And then the writing style changed and they tried to groom me with guilt.
The lesson? Watch out for manipulators and don’t let anyone groom you.
They’re in orange on the left.
I’m in blue on the right.
Initial probe, looking for a victim to groom
Apr 3, 2019, 10:34 PM
Oh wow. Hi back.
Apr 3, 2019, 10:35 PM
How are you doing and I thank you for being my followers where are you from and what you do for a living huh
I’m here to meet new friends
Apr 3, 2019, 10:37 PM
Hi Sarah – I live in Minnesota. Happily married 40+ years. I work for a technology company and write books about cyberattacks over the internet.
Apr 3, 2019, 10:38 PM
I don’t bite on the initial groom line, so change tactics
That’s Good and o thought you are single I’m also happy married but I’m not enjoying matrimonial home my husband is cheating on me so I decided to come here and look for the honest man I will shared my feelings with OK
Do you have kids
Apr 3, 2019, 10:46 PM
One daughter, two grandsons. I am sorry to hear about your husband, but reaching out to strangers on Twitter is playing with fire. Do you have any friends or family you can confide with?
Apr 3, 2019, 10:49 PM
Just only me here
Apr 3, 2019, 10:51 PM
Apr 3, 2019, 10:54 PM
I lost my family when I was 10 years old and I get to marry to my husband at the age of 23 but when the relationship just become new I really enjoyed then suddenly everything just change going to club to bring prostitute to my matrimonial bed I just feel like going for a divorce but my friend Lisa calm me down that I should have patience for him huh
Holly hill FL
Near Dayton beach
Apr 3, 2019, 10:56 PM
I am so sorry about all this.
Does your husband want to rescue the relationship with you?
Apr 3, 2019, 10:58 PM
Also, some expectations on this. I am not a therapist, not even close to qualified. I am a Christian and I am far from perfect. Validate anything I say with prayer – Jesus is the foremost authority on everything, but believe me, I know how hard it is sometimes to figure out what He wants us to do.
Apr 3, 2019, 11:01 PM
Something like that but I want him to satisfied himself okay
Apr 3, 2019, 11:02 PM
Marriage is between one man and one woman. When you marry, you become one flesh. What he’s doing with prostitutes is wrong. Period.
Apr 3, 2019, 11:02 PM
Abusing alcohol and clubbing huh
I’m just tired of him please can you find someone for me that you know his honest huh
Apr 3, 2019, 11:03 PM
Reel me in deeper and then disappear
No. Wrong question. You and your husband made a commitment to each other. The worst thing you can do right now is go after some other man. Two wrongs do not make anything right,.
Apr 3, 2019, 11:05 PM
I feel compelled to ask some tough questions. First up – are you having suicidal thoughts?
Apr 3, 2019, 11:07 PM
I also feel compelled to tell you that God loves you and wants what’s best. So, please please please make smart decisions tonight and going forward.
Apr 3, 2019, 11:10 PM
Hey Sarah – are you ok???
Apr 3, 2019, 11:31 PM
I spent half that night with the police
Hope you slept well
Apr 4, 2019, 12:25 PM
Sorry messed up and have been trying to get that done….. I love all your thoughtful and I will work towards it hope this gonna be okay because am just tired of this bullshits I feel like committing suicide I thank you for all what you said
Sorry my phone messed up all night
Apr 4, 2019, 12:28 PM
Well it’s good to hear from you. You had me scared.
Apr 4, 2019, 1:59 PM
It occurs to me – I know some authors who write self-help books. Want me to see if I can find some counselling near you?
Apr 4, 2019, 2:00 PM
Also, I want you to go to the Holly Hill police station and tell them you’re ok. They took a call from a guy in Minnesota last night around midnight worried about you. 🙂 They probably have a record of the call.
Apr 4, 2019, 2:03 PM
that’s good …… you sound good to me why all this caring for me huh
Apr 4, 2019, 2:37 PM
am going through a lot…… my husband does not take cre of me the little cash I have has almost finished how long will thing will be okay huh
Apr 4, 2019, 2:40 PM
Apr 4, 2019, 3:59 PM
Keep trying to groom me
I don’t have a good answer for your first question. I try not to have a cold heart I guess.
yes – still here. It’s been a busy work day.
Apr 4, 2019, 3:59 PM
Apr 4, 2019, 3:59 PM
I was trying to come up with a good answer to your question. I don’t have one. Best I can offer for now.
Apr 4, 2019, 4:00 PM
I will like to know the answer huh
Apr 4, 2019, 4:02 PM
Why do I care? Well – guilt might be part of it. When you went silent last night, I was worried about you. There are real people behind these Twitter messages, and if I didn’t do everything I could to help, I’d have trouble sleeping at night.
So that’s part of it.
Also, I suspect I have a daughter your age or maybe a little older, and if my daughter were in that situation, I’d want to help.
You’re mid-20s? My daughter is 32.
And I’m a little north of 60. But I used to be 25 and I’m not senile yet.
Apr 4, 2019, 4:05 PM
So, if you need help and maybe I can find you some, then I sleep better at night than letting you continue suffering. That’s kind of a selfish motive I guess, but I like sleeping soundly at night.
Apr 4, 2019, 4:06 PM
Also, I’m an author – that’s why I use Twitter – and I know other authors who specialize in self-help stuff around healing relationships. I don’t know if any are near you or not, or what help they can offer, but I’m willing to look if you want.
Apr 4, 2019, 4:08 PM
I’m ready to settle with my husband and hope you think this gonna work out huh
Apr 4, 2019, 4:55 PM
I don’t know. I’ll encourage you to find some mentoring from a woman 40+ years old who’s seen a few more years of life than you.
I hope it works with your husband. But you need to make it clear that the behavior you described last night is unacceptable.
And be prepared to make it stick.
Apr 4, 2019, 4:58 PM
**NOBODY** needs to endure abuse. The behavior you described last night is abusive. You deserve better.
You are your husband’s equal and partner, not anyone’s slave.
And I would urge both of you to seek good counseling.
Apr 4, 2019, 5:00 PM
You might enjoy this – but read it as a whole, don’t take any of it out of context: https://biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+5%3A22-33&version=NLT
Apr 4, 2019, 5:05 PM
Apr 4, 2019, 5:08 PM
Apr 4, 2019, 5:38 PM
Gotta do family stuff for the next couple hours.
Apr 4, 2019, 5:40 PM
Here comes the hook
Can you do me a favour huh
Apr 4, 2019, 8:47 PM
I’m going to my family house at Virginia to live with my family for some time until my husband come to his sense I have nothing left with for me and my daughter my husband has seized everything damn thing please I beg you don’t think I’m using the advantage to ask you money I just need your help am shy to ask for that please help me with your kind heart
Apr 4, 2019, 8:54 PM
You there Greg
Apr 4, 2019, 10:10 PM
Hi – yes. But I don’t have any money.
Apr 4, 2019, 10:10 PM
The writing style changes. Groom with guilt,
Apr 4, 2019, 10:15 PM
Get out your Bible and read scriptures like Psalm 113:7-8. It says God “lifts the poor from the dust and the needy from the garbage dump. He sets them among princes, even the princes of his own people!” Think about that. According to the Bible, God takes His people from the dump to the boardroom!
Apr 4, 2019, 10:19 PM
Jesus went to the cross so you could get out of the garbage dump. He didn’t want you to have to go around with your hat in your hand looking to humans for a bailout or a handout. No, sir! You are a joint heir with Christ Jesus. You are a child of the living God. You’re supposed to be prosperous.
But to have ears to hear what Jesus is saying to you about how to walk in that prosperity, you have to get your mind out of the garbage dump. You have to quit thinking lack and measuring with a poverty stick. Instead, you have to read, meditate on and proclaim what God’s Word says
Apr 4, 2019, 10:26 PM
I suspect your name isn’t really Sarah, and who knows where you really are located. I no longer believe your story.
I will give you credit for keeping me occupied for almost 24 hours and for changing your tactics as you found out more about what might appeal to me. But enough is enough. I want you to look up Matthew chapter 10, verse 16, and then look your parents in the eye and confess to them about you make money playing on people’s compassion. This ends right now.
Apr 4, 2019, 10:52 PM